Guest Post: Mother's Day: 10 Mother-Daughter Caregiving Relationships Tips


by 
 Pamela D. Wilson, CSA, MS, BS/BA, CG

Mother’s Day ceased to be annual event for me over 20 years ago. When I had a mother I took for granted that she would be with me forever. On Mother’s Day, I watch mothers and daughters and granddaughters celebrate. I hope that all realize the value of this existing relationship and how quickly it can disappear as the result of a change in health or unexpected accident. 
When I did have my mother, I was oblivious to aspects of caregiving that I could have supported but did not. Mothers caregive for daughters; it is not usually the other way around until mom becomes old and frail. Below are ideas to consider that support a close relationship and the potential idea of a future caregiving relationship as you spend time with your mother on Mother’s Day and throughout the year:
  1. Don’t assume mom has it all together—suggest ways you might help.  I did not discover, until after my mother’s death, that she couldn’t balance a checkbook. She appeared to manage the family money well; she paid the bills, saved money, and all seemed to have it all together. I helped with the annual income taxes. I certainly could have helped balance the monthly checkbook if I had known this was a skill she did not possess. I never thought to ask. For some reason, I ignored all those slight mentions about managing money, because I thought she had it all together. Don’t’ assume that your mom can do everything that you can do - ask and suggest how you might help in a wide variety of areas.
  2. Get rid of 40+ years of accumulation—now! Those bedrooms with the doors permanently closed, the basement full of stuff, drawers full of rubber bands, lead pencils etc.  It’s not going anywhere and hasn’t for the past 40 years. Offer to help mom clean out rooms, closets, and the basement. If she wanted to do it she would have already done it - cleaning out years of accumulated items isn’t fun.  Find a way to clear out excess items and make the time enjoyable!
  3.  Help with hobbies and favorite activities. My mom loved to garden and make canned goods. Carrying the heavy Mason jars, shopping to purchase jar lids, skinning tomatoes, fruits, and other vegetables became more challenging as mom grew older. Support your mom in beloved activities by providing the manual labor and doing the heavy lifting. Time together is precious and if you have children you might have them join in and learn family recipes and a skills that are becoming a memory of the past.
  4. Talk about what IF dad dies first?  My mom frequently expressed concern about how she would support herself financially if my dad died first. Her children, me included, ignored this conversation saying that the men always die first. We didn’t talk about her worries or her concerns. While your parents are both still healthy, have these conversations to bring concerns out into the open.  While you’re at it have the discussion about what you would do if your husband or significant other dies first—or if you have no children, who will care for you?
  5. Who do you trust?  Everyone needs a trusted individual to serve as financial power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and personal representative. Talk about legal planning in advance of illness or disability. Talk to your mom about who she would want to serve as this individual even if it is an outside professional. Then think about the same for yourself—and complete the documents. 
  6. Spoil mom—just a little bit. Many of us have things that we’d like to do or like to have but we don’t want to spend the money. Buy your mom a good pair of walking shoes, pay for a housekeeping service, or send her to the spa for a day. Sometimes it’s nice to enjoy things that we’d like to do but we might be too frugal to spend the money (or may not have the money to spend).
  7. Host the family gathering. Offer to host the Mother’s Day gathering at your home rather than mom hosting. This allows mom to “show-up” rather than to have to grocery shop, plan, cook, and clean up. Involve her grandchildren in the effort and have them make a special dessert or other part of the meal.  Make it a family effort, rather than a mom effort.
  8. Talk about the hot potato - money!  Many fail to realize that traditional Medicare or health insurance does not pay for the type of care many of us will need as we age. While Mother’s Day may not be the perfect day to broach this subject, talk about money with mom. Do your parents have a financial plan? Do they have a financial planner?  Have they considered long term care insurance? Many of our parents were not exposed to these aspects when they were young and many simply don’t know or understand the benefits. This is one area where your education and knowledge may be very beneficial to your mother and your father and to you as a potential future caregiver.
  9. Get technology literate. Many older adults avoid technology. Research shows that those who learn to use technology become more socially connected. Help your mom purchase a computer and learn how to surf the Internet, use email, and Skype. Get the grandchildren involved in this effort so that they can communicate with grandma—and teach grandma (and grandpa) new skills. Make technology literacy a family project so that communication occurs more than once a year on Mother’s Day but is ongoing.  
  10. Plan early for the holidays. The holidays can be stressful especially when one feels the obligation to purchase expensive presents. Plan early and help mom identify things that she might make (canned goods, cookies, etc.) rather than feeling burdened to spend money. Put together family recipes that might be typed and put into a booklet that is distributed to family. Go through family photos and have them scanned to make an album for all to enjoy. Give consideration to more traditional gift ideas rather than spending money on items that will be obsolete in a short period of time. 
Many parents need help but are afraid to ask—adult children are busy with careers, raising family, and other projects. Family time is precious and rare, especially if family lives at a distance. By using one of the simple ideas above you have the opportunity to support your mother (and perhaps even your father) with an enjoyable or valuable activity that may have a significant effect on present well-being or future caregiving relationships.


Pamela D. Wilson, MS, BS/BA, CG, CSA, Certified Senior Advisor specializes in working with family and professional caregivers to navigate healthcare and aging concerns. Wilson, an expert in the field of caregiving, has personally helped thousands of family and professional caregivers since 2000 in her career as an advocate, a care navigator, and an educator. Through her company, The Care Navigator, she is an advocate and service provider in the roles of guardian, power of attorney, care manager, and transition specialist. She was producer and host of The Caring Generation®, from 2009 to 2011, an educational radio program for caregivers on 630 KHOW-AM.  In addition to her work at the Care Navigator, Pamela gives back to the community by serving as chairperson of the Community Ethics Committee in Denver, Colorado.
Her new book, The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes, will be available on October 6, 2015 through all major bookstores as well as on PamelaDWilson.com.  You can find her onYouTube, FacebookTwitter, and Linked In

Amdur Productions Announces Brand New May Art Market At The Daley Plaza



The May Art Market May 6-7, 2016 takes place at the Daley Center, 50 W Washington St, Chicago, IL on the Friday and Saturday from 8am-6pm before Mother's Day. If you are looking for last minute Mother's Day gifts, this is the art market for you! Find mom the perfect pair of earrings, a beautiful necklace, a painting that you know mom would love, or a sculpture to add to moms collection. This Friday and Saturday show is set in Chicago's famous Daley Plaza in the "Loop", the heart of downtown Chicago. More than 500,000 people live in, work in, and visit this dense area every day. Standing 50 ft. tall, the Chicago "Picasso" located in Daley Plaza is one of the most famous sculptures in Chicago. This show is free admission.

Shelly Lawler
 Rahmon Olugunna                                                  


"We are pleased to have the May Art Market in Daley Plaza.  The Art Market is an example of a wonderful new amenities that serves the needs of our large employment base but also acknowledge that over 15,000 people live in the Loop." says, Michael Edwards, President & CEO, Chicago Loop Alliance.

Children can also enjoy the youth art tent where they will be able to make clay masterpieces to take home. Enjoy free souvenir photos to take home with you as well!

ABOUT AMDUR PRODUCTIONS
For more than thirty years, Amdur Productions has crafted and curated a selection of the country's most prestigious juried art festivals, including the Chicago Botanic Garden Art Festival, Gold Coast Art Fair, and Port Clinton Art Festival. Founded by Amy Amdur in 1983, Amdur Productions attracts thousands of guests to explore and enjoy a showcase of artists' work in a free and fun environment. Several of Amdur Productions' festivals have been selected as Sunshine Artist magazine's top 100 best fine art and design shows.

In addition to festivals, Amdur Productions produces city-wide food and music events. For more information, please visit amdurproductions.com, call 847-926-4300, or email us at info@amdurproductions.com. Looking for additional information about a specific festival? Find them online at amdurproductions.com/art-festivals/or visit their social channels: FacebookTwitterInstagram, or Pinterest.

May PBS: Janis Joplin & The Highwaymen on American Masters




The 30th anniversary season of American Masters continues this May on PBS with two new music documentaries about Janis Joplin (May 3) and country music supergroup The Highwaymen (May 27), featuring Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash and Kris Kristofferson.

American Masters -- Janis: Little Girl Blue  **Never-Before-Seen Extended Film Cut**  will be aired Tuesday, May 3, at 8 p.m. EST on PBS (check local listings).  

Observe Janis Joplin's life through intimate letters and rare footage in the first in-depth celebration of the iconic rock singer. Oscar-nominated director Amy Berg (Deliver Us From Evil, West of Memphis) presents a portrait of a complicated and driven artist. Chan Marshall (also known as Cat Power) narrates. Oscar-winner Alex Gibney (Taxi to the Dark Side, Going Clear) is one of the film's producers. The broadcast features a never-before-seen extended film cut with additional archival performance footage and new interviews with Joplin's sister Laura Joplin and musicians influenced by Janis: Alecia Moore (a.k.a. Pink), Juliette LewisMelissa Etheridge and Marshall, who performs "A Woman Left Lonely" from Joplin's final studio album Pearl in tribute. 2016 marks the 45th anniversary of Pearl, which was released January 11, 1971.

American Masters -- The Highwaymen: Friends Till the End
Discover the story behind the pioneering outlaw country music supergroup that featured Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash and Kris Kristofferson, told through vintage performances and new interviews about life on the road and in the studio.  

Give home accents a facelift with tips from upcycling expert

 After a long winter, spring is finally here – a great excuse to liven up spaces with a fresh twist on ho-hum home accents. From art décor to organization, now is the perfect time for your readers to jumpstart those fun, resourceful DIY projects they’re always pinning but forever putting off.
The Paper & Packaging – How Life Unfolds™ campaign recently teamed up with upcycling aficionado and blogger Dinah Wulf from DIY Inspired to craft five non-intimidating ways to transform living areas using common household items and some paper and packaging magic:
Coffee Filter Paper Flowers
  1. Shoebox Lid Wall Art – Use the lid of a shoebox as a paint canvas. Spray the lid with primer and then paint the lid in the color of choice. Use stencils to create unique artwork.
  2. Drawer Organization – Cut the bottoms of food boxes so they are approximately two and a half inches high. Wrap each bottom with decorative paper and use them inside drawers for organization. Use different-sized boxes to organize pencils, pens and paper clips.
  3. DIY Map Lampshade – Paper maps are great for upcycling home décor accents like lampshades. Cut the map to the desired shape and size, and use decoupage medium to cover the shade.
  4. Coffee Filter Paper Flowers – Pinch the center of a coffee filter upwards to create a bunch. One by one, add three more until one full bunch has four coffee filters. Use a child-sized hair band to tie the “stem” together. Cut out flower petals out of old book pages and glue them to the flower, then use a dowel rod to create a sturdy stem.
  5. DIY Napkin Rings – Cardboard tubes should never be thrown away! Cut a tube into two-inch-thick pieces. Paint them your favorite color, then glue a shell or a flower on top for spring.

Get the Most Out Of Tax Returns with These 5 Websites to Save Money through Amazon

With tax season coming to an end April 18, everyone is looking for new ways save a little more money over the next year or how to best maximize tax return money. Amazon is the ultimate online shopping outlet, bringing approximately 5 million retailers together that stock a variety of popular products. Now the Amazon shopping experience has been upgraded by sites that help customers save even more money and make the most of their tax returns. These top 5 websites offer the best deals on Amazon:

1.       Snagshout: Snagshout, a new social deals website, provides a unique experience to consumers by offering deep discounts on a wide range of Amazon products for purchase, use and review. Most products are offered at a 30-90% discount in exchange for honest product reviews. To purchase an item listed on Snagshout, consumers are given a discount code to purchase the product directly from the brand’s Amazon listing.
2.       EbatesEbates pays members cash back every time they shop and provides them with some of the best coupons and deals available on Amazon. Customers can join Ebates for free and receive up to seven percent cash back on purchases through Amazon. Every quarter, Ebates sends cash back in the form of a check or PayPal payment. With more than 10,000 coupons to be offered, there are deals and products for everyone.
3.       Slickdeals: Slickdeals is dedicated to sharing, rating and reviewing deals and coupons. Relying primarily on user generated content, user ratings and comments help catapult the best deals to the website’s front page for quick and easy access to savings and deals on Amazon. Customers are able to receive Amazon’s daily deals, sift through coupons in all categories and save up to 50 percent with Amazon deals and more.  
4.       CamelCamelCamel: CamelCamelCamel is a free Amazon price tracker that shows the price and sale rank history for over 18 million Amazon products, making it one of the best ways to visualize an item's past performance. When products’ prices drop, CamelCamelCamel alerts customers via email and Twitter, helping to determine the perfect time to spend and save.
5.       Woot!: Woot!, the original “one day, one deal” website, offers customers multiple deals and other short-term sales for a variety of mainstream consumer goods including wine, toys and clothing on Amazon.

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Submissions Now Open for the 2016 She Rocks Summer NAMM Showcase in Nashville


 




Women from all musical genres are encouraged to submit an entry to perform

Singer-songwriter Bryce Hitchcock performs during the 2015 Summer NAMM Showcase at The Listening Room Cafe in Nashville, Tenn.
 
The Women’s International Music Network (the WiMN) returns to Nashville for its third annual She Rocks Summer NAMM Showcase, taking place on Thursday, June 23, 2016 from 8:30 – 11:00 p.m. at The Listening Room Cafe. Submissions are now open for women in music of all genres to enter for a chance to perform. Click here to submit.

“We’re excited to come back to Nashville for the third year in a row. One of my favorite aspects of our Showcases is to go through the submissions we receive. There are so many talented women out there, and I’m proud to provide them with an opportunity to perform in front of industry pros and fans,”said WiMN Founder, Laura B. Whitmore.

The She Rocks Summer NAMM Showcase takes place on Thursday, June 23, 2016 from 8:30 – 11:00 p.m. during the Summer NAMM Show in Nashville, Tenn., at The Listening Room Cafe on 217 2nd Ave. S., Nashville, TN 37201, a short walk from the Music City Center, and is sponsored by 108 Rock Star Guitars. An optional $5 pre-sale or $7 door donation is requested. This showcase is open to all ages.

Artists interested in performing must submit an entry by May 3, 2016. Performers will be announced by May 13, 2016.

The WiMN also recently announced the official 2016 She Rocks ASCAP Expo Showcase, taking placeFriday, April 29 from 9:00 p.m. – 12:00 a.m. at the Tinhorn Flats Saloon & Grill in Hollywood during the ASCAP Expo. Now in its third year, the official Showcase will feature Divinity Roxx, Anjali Ray, Maddy Vance, and Facing West. This free showcase will feature drink specials and giveaways.

To fill out the submission form and for official rules and regulations, visithttp://www.thewimn.com/summer-namm-showcase/

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